Many people know my parents. Many of them have told my siblings and I what wonderful parents we have. As a teenager and young adult, I thought they were just crazy and off their rockers, how could my parents be what other people saw. I could think of words to describe my parents, but wonderful, great, amazing, these were not the adjectives that came into my mind back then.
It just so happens that they were right all along! I do have fantastic parents. God wants us to continually grow and develop as a people. Therefore, naturally He wants us to become better parents than our parents were. Looking back on my childhood, I can see now that my parents did the best with what they had, knowledge, spiritually, financially, etc. When they received more, they did more and they became better parents. I want to add here, that they were better than their parents had been to them, due to knowledge, growth and development on their part.
So my thinking now is that I must step up to the task and become a better parent, along with my husband, than our parents were. Ouch! you might think. No it's so that history does not repeat itself. We have to cast off the chains that bind us to bad habits and the bad "traditions of our fathers", and continually work toward a better life, a better world, a better people.
So I went to visit my parents last month for six days. Let me tell you, I thought I was doing pretty well on the road to becoming a better parent, until I spent time alone with my mom and dad. The three of us had an amazing time together. We went for drives, we talked, we listened, we saw a kiddie ice show, and we just hung out eating great food and a little ice cream. Never in that time did my parents lower my value, compare me to my siblings, judge me, or place unrealistic expectations on me. They loved me, and loved me, and loved all over me. They listened, they cried with me, they laughed with me, and they valued our relationship; and because of this, our relationship with each other grew even stronger. When it was time for me to return home, we cried and did not want to leave each other.
My visit taught me that I have more work to do in my own home to become a better parent. If you ever thought your parents, good or bad in your eyes, can't teach you anything anymore, think again.
Mine taught me the value of unconditional love. Do we show our children, in the heat of the battle of the day, unconditional love? Do we value their opinion? Do we give them time to talk and be heard? Do we compare them and place expectations on them that really belong on ourselves? These are the things this forty somethin woman was given to ponder on.
I'm not saying that we need to go home to mommy and daddy to be better, but in the spiritual realm of "go home to get better", home is really where we do get better! Our heavenly home. Reading our scriptures and prayer daily and then listening for guidance is paramount to successful parenting. I'm no parenting expert, but I know what I know, I CAN'T DO IT ALL BY MYSELF! It doesn't take a village, it takes help from above and a big heapin help from a mom and dad who are also still evolving as they get more mature in years and wisdom.
Thank you Mom and Dad, you mean the world and beyond to me and I love you with all my fiber, and that's a big heapin!
My two words for 2011 are humility and compassion. I no longer make New Year's resolutions. I pick one or two words that come into my mind that I need. Oh and how, I need more humility and compassion! I have these two words on a large board on the wall in my bedroom, where I see them first thing in the morning and lastly at night. I stare at them and talk to myself about those two words; that I am a valuable person with humility and great compassion. Look inside of you and find your word, it's there, just waiting on the tip of your tongue and you will know it's the word when you wince! Like I did......
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